https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?203799-Weird-old-D-amp-D-spells
There was an April Fools issue of Dragon that had a bunch of great spells. Here are some I remember. Detect Fire--range: touch Djarmi's Instant Death--Instantly kills some poor guy named Djarmi, with no save. Remove hand--target: self, duration: permanent I should still have that issue of Dragon somewhere....
Thunder Swarm, 3.5e book "Masters of the Wild," click to expand
Thunder Swarm:
Evocation [Electricity]
Level: Drd 9
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Long (400 ft. + 40 ft ./level)
Area: Pattern of lightning spreads similar to a fireball (see
text)
Duration : Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None or Reflex half (see text)
Spell Resistance : Yes
Like the arcane spell meteor swarm, thunderswarm
evokes blasts similar to those of the spell fireball, except
that this spell creates balls of lightning . When you cast
it, either four large (2-foot-diameter) spheres or eight
small (1-foot-diameter) spheres spring from your outstretched
hand and streak in a straight line to the spot
you designate. Each sphere leaves a trail of sparks
behind it .
Any creature in the straight-line path of these spheres
is struck by each one and takes a total of 16d6 points of
electricity damage (no save) . The spheres dissipate after
dealing this damage.
If the spheres reach their destination, each bursts like
an electrical fireball in a spread. The patterns oftheir detonation
and damage dealt to creatures in the area depend
on the size of the spheres, as follows. (See the meteor
swarm spell description in the Player's Handbook for details
on the patterns.)
Large Spheres : Each large sphere has a 15-foot-radius
spread and deals 4d8 points of electricity damage. The
four spheres explode with their points of origin forming
either a large diamond or a large box pattern (your
choice) around the spell's central point of origin . The
blasts are 20 feet apart along the sides ofthe pattern, creating
overlapping areas of the spell's effect and exposing
the center to all four blasts .
Small Spheres : Each small sphere has a 7 1/2-footradius
spread and deals 2d6 points of electricity damage.
These spheres explode with their points of origin forming either a box-within-a-diamond pattern or a diamond-
within-a-box pattern around the spell's central
point of origin . Each of the pattern's outer sides measures
20 feet long. All four areas overlap in the center of
the pattern, and two or three areas overlap in various peripheral
sections.
A creature caught in one of the blasts may attempt a
Reflex save for halfdamage. Creatures struckby multiple
blasts must save against each blast separately. Any creature
that fails a save is stunned for 1d4 rounds in addition
to taking full damage.
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