The Schwa - Super Useful Sound (letter )

XKCD has the funny on it: 

https://xkcd.com/2907/

I've always liked the easy going laid back don't give a rat's schwa sound. In times of Grammar naziness, it's nice to know schwa is there to bring it down a notch... reduce it a tad... um... calm it, cool it... none of these phrases sound good today, but I get my meaning. 

More info: Stressed-timed languages like English... and the schwa, in the link: 
https://teachnews.gr/glwssologia-didaktikh/item/833-teaching-the-schwa

The schwa sound is everywhere in English. 

Thə shwə sound iz evrywhere in Eenglish. 

Let's try that again. 

America, let me ask ya. What in tarnation are ya gonna do if ya didn't have the schwa?  

Əmericə, let mee ask yə. Whət in tarnayshən ar yə gonnə do if yə didn't hav thə schwə?  

Can you have an uppercase schwa? Well I found it, but not sure that's right. 

And this crazy site claims it was getting added to the English language as the 27th letter, back in 2018-2020, but I guess that wasn't real:
https://omniglot.com/language/articles/newletter.htm